


Nodus Tollens

by thegirl_APstories



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Divergence - The Battle of the Blackwater, F/M, Gentle Kissing, Gentleness, Healing, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Love, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Multi, On the Run, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Slow Burn, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Trigger Warnings, anguish, more to be announced - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-04
Updated: 2019-08-05
Packaged: 2020-07-31 10:15:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20113459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegirl_APstories/pseuds/thegirl_APstories
Summary: Nodus Tollens - n. the realization that the plot of your life doesn’t make sense to you anymore.~ a major canon divergence on the night of The Battle of the Black Water. Sansa is traumatized, Sandor is determined to protect her and save her from her hell as they travel across Westeros in search for home, safety and freedom.~





	1. cover




	2. a torn shift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The sea winds blew harshly through my rooms, my loose hair whipped itself into tangles and the cold winds cut my cheeks… why were they wet? I let go of the window sill and raised my finger to my cheeks, the tips of my fingers pulled away and revealed clear, salty tears and blood was pushed under my jagged fingernails… blood?
> 
> “Little bird?”

__

_Shivers ran up my spine with each step I took, this biting cold pierced my feet painfully, but I could not figure out why… my slippers were old and worn, but they always kept my feet warm and a cool breeze caressed my throbbing arms… but why were they throbbing? In fact, the hallways before me swam in my vision and I felt my hand slam into the stone wall as I tried to keep myself upright, I hadn’t remembered my room being so far away… the Queen's Ballroom could not have been more than a floor above my rooms, yet it felt like I had been walking forever. The fire from the lit torches danced before my hazy eyes and I could’ve sworn the keep’s walls were whispering things in my ears… gross, haunting, terrifying things… things a lady should never hear nor endure. It occurred to me then that I was stumbling, the dancing fires made my vision swim and my legs felt like steel, heavy and unyielding, refusing to listen to my mind screaming at them to move and I couldn’t utter a word as I stumbled to my room. _

_I blinked and I was suddenly standing in front of my room, confusion raked me, but I pushed opened the thin wooden door anyway and I felt myself securing the old bolt before I stumbled away from the door and it was then I realized my room was glowing green… what a queer shade? _

_The odd shade lit my room in flickers, but my eyes easily caught the dolly I had left in the corner of my desk and I was determined to have it… it was the only thing in this dreadful place that was actually mine and it was the last thing I had of father. I clutched the old doll close to my chest, my arms graze torn and thin fabric which made no sense… Shae had forced me into a thick, pink woolen dress that scratched at my skin, but where had it gone?_

_I smoothed the dolls hair down as my shaky feet drew closer towards the singular window in my room, I realized that the bay was a green blaze and I could faintly hear the screams of men, but the sounds were muffled… like I had cotton stuffed in my ears. The green fire was ugly and terrifying, but it was like a siren... Theon used to tell stories of sirens luring sailors to their deaths and I was beginning to realize why those foolish men listened. My bare feet hurt from the cold, uneven stones that lined the ledge of the window and I blinked when I realized I was holding onto the open frame of the window… when had I gotten up here and where had my slippers gone?_

_The sea winds blew harshly through my rooms, my loose hair whipped itself into tangles and the cold winds cut my cheeks… why were they wet? I let go of the window sill and raised my finger to my cheeks, the tips of my fingers pulled away and revealed clear, salty tears and blood was pushed under my jagged fingernails… blood?_

_“Little bird?”_

_\---_

He had only meant to see her rooms one last time before mounting his horse and hurrying from this dreadful, evil city that was now engulfed in hellish, green flames thanks to that Imp, but the wine he had drank made his head swim and his vision blur and before he know it, he was laying on the little birds bed as the wine settled in his stomach. When the door had swung open, he had thought that some vagrant had come to drag him before Cersei and the Cunt King for abandoning his post, but instead it was just _her_; she shone in the green light and her hair appeared to be a darker color of copper… more like blood in the sinister light. He silently watched her bolt the door and stumble for something on her desk, but something about the girl seemed… off?

The flashing green light made his head swim, but he could clearly see she wasn’t dressed properly and it looked as if she was bloodied… the strobing lights made it hard to make out what was wrong with her, but before he could even blink she had hefted herself up onto her window ledge and pushed the glass open. Terror filled screams echoed throughout the silent room and the stench of sweat, blood and sea wafted in until it made his stomach turn, but it wasn’t just the stench that made his stomach tighten in terror… was she going to jump out of the window?!

“Little bird?”

His voice was hushed, but when her scared eyes turned towards him he felt his own widen… he slowly stood from the bed as he took in the girl standing in front of an open window and he had never felt so ill before. Her once beautiful hair was whipped in tangles and matted, her face was lined with tears and blood… her lip was cut and a bruise was blossoming on her left cheek and her dress was gone; her shift was the only thing left and it was torn and dirty, falling off her shoulders and… he felt his stomach turn and he thought he may puke on the stone floor right then at the sight… the dirty chemise was bloodied… a single, huge spot that made his stomach turn and his heart stop beating in his chest.

“Little bird… what are you doing?” Her once guarded blue eyes were clear now, he hadn’t seen her look so vulnerable since the Lannister’s had spirited her away from her cold Northern home and into this snake pit… tears ran out of them and down her cheeks whilst she looked down at him, though he didn’t think she actually saw him.

“_I don’t like it here… I want to go home.” _He took a tentative step forward at her whispered words, she seemed so small and broken standing up there and he tried to think over the pounding in his head.

“You can’t leave that way little bird… how about you come down?” She shook her head and took a small step back, the simple step made his stomach drop and his large hand shot out to grasp her delicate wrist and the simple touch sent the young girl screeching like a banshee.

“I’m not safe anymore! I never really was… but so long as I had my maidenhead, I was safe! Joffrey will do the most horrid things before he kills me! This is my only chance for freedom, don’t you understand!” He merely shook his head, her face was shrouded in the night, but the way her bare shoulders shook and her hoarse voice let him know how far gone the girl was.

“Death isn’t freedom little bird… that’s just another prison, one you won’t ever get to escape.”

“At least it’s a prison I can choose... anywhere is better than here.”

“Come away with me little bird… let me take you to your family, away from this place.”

“No… they will not want me! Not after all that has happened!” He could barely understand the girl, between her sobs, shouting and mumbling, it was a feat that he was able to make out what little he could… his eyes scanned her as she stood up on that window sill, for once taller than his own impressive frame and for once he believed the little bird may actually be broken.

“I doubt that, your family seemed close enough… you’re just tired and-an.. you’ll be thinking more clearly tomorrow. Come away with me little bird, let me take you back home… you’ll be safe there.” Truly, nowhere was safe in this dreadful world, but anywhere would be better than here for this poor, delicate creature.

"_I have lost everything... father is dead, Arya is gone and Robb and mother have left me here... it's all their fault! Let me go Ser, leave me and just let me die! You don't understand!" _I only shook my head in refusal, forcing her clouded blue eyes to meet my own grey and try to make her understand.

"If you don't want to come with me, I will not force you... you haven't been allowed to make choices in a long time, but I won't let you jump out that window. Either you step down and I make sure you're safe until Stannis or Joffrey come and find you, depending on who wins this battle or you step down and you let me take you away from this terrible place... but you get to choose little bird."

There was only a few moments of silence before the girl nodded her head slightly and she took a small step away from the open window and towards his open arms, he carefully reached out and placed his large hands onto her delicate sides and picked her up as gently as possible. He had only meant to place her small feet firmly on the ground, but suddenly he felt the weight of her head resting against his shoulder and soon enough, his ear was filled by the sounds of gentle sobs and his shoulder was covered in hot, wet salty tears; he had never felt more out of place and so he merely stood there as still as possible and allowed her this moment to just cry. He had always hoped or at least dreamed, whenever he had downed too many flagons of wine and his stomach was on the verge of rejecting it all, that he would get to hold the little bird close like this, but this wasn’t how he had imagined this moment and it took everything to not rest his own head against hers.

Her cries slowed and grew silent, her body still shook occasionally with a sob, but he felt she would be steady on her feet and finally set her down… the wine haze was long gone and instead he found his mind racing with thoughts on how exactly they were going to escape this burning city before Stannis Baratheon or the Lannister cunts won this battle. He left her standing where he placed her and began to look around the dark room until he found a chest that would likely hold her clothes, ripping the lid off he was greeted by dresses of all different shades and textures, but he cared little and pulled out a dress dark as a night sky and held it out for the shivering girl to take. Her small, battered hands took the dress shakily and she slowly moved towards the changing divider whilst he was left to shove what little things she could take into a sack made of what appeared to be an old, woolen shawl, he grabbed a dark cape with a hood lastly before shutting the chest soundly and waiting for her to step out from the divider.

When she finally did, she looked pale and gaunt in the dark dress, but little could be done about it and he found himself eyeing her tangled red hair… it was beautiful, but a dangerous trait since it would make it only that much harder to hide her; with a grunt he pulled the cord holding his sleeve closed out and moved behind the girl, she jumped and tried to shy away until she realized he was only gathering her messy hair and tying it in a bun at the base of her slender neck. Afterward, the cape was thrown over her shoulders and fastened quickly as he motioned for her to pull the large hood up, once it was done her face was shrouded and not a wisp of hair poked out from beneath and the thick fabric seemed to swallow the girls slight figure.

With nothing left to do, he hurried to the door and unbolted it before peering out and making sure the halls were still clear, once he felt safe enough he grabbed the girls limp hand and pulled her through the doorway and hurried the pair down the winding turret steps and down to the abandoned courtyard where he had left Stranger waiting in one of the alcoves. He sighed loudly at the girls slow pace and his ears picked up the distant sounds of men and clanging amour, with a quick glance behind his shoulder and a decision made in his mind, he turned quickly and scooped the girl up underneath her knees and shoulders and hurried the pair towards the await horse; she kicked and struggled for a moment, but he kept a firm grip and willed her to calm down and let them make it out of this blasted city quickly and safely.

He threw her up on the saddle and she had the forethought to grab the horn before she went tumbling off the other side, he untied Stranger from the post and secured their meager belongings before stepping up in the saddle and placing himself behind her and gripping the reigns as tightly as possible between his calloused hands and set Stranger off into a gallop, heading straight for the gates that led out onto the King’s Road and the seemingly never ending forest that they would soon call home until they could make it all the way to Winterfell.

“Keep your head down girl, tis nothing you’ll be wanting to see.” Obedient as ever, the girl kept her head ducked and spared herself from watching men run past either bloodied, missing limbs or perhaps worst of all, alight on fire… the smell of bloodied and cooking flesh burned his nose and made him hurry Stranger to get as far from this burning city as possible.

The gates that had been ordered shut and guarded where left unattended and it seemed someone had opened them and ran already, he sent Stranger into a full run and the second they passed the gates a weight lifted off his chest… the feeling was euphoric in a sense and the invisible chains that once held him tethered to anything ‘_Lannister_’ had seemingly disappeared in a matter of seconds. He glanced down at the girls covered figure and he hoped that she had felt a similar sensation, he hoped that her own invisible chains had unlocked and set her free… though he knew other chains would tie her down forever, he had seen that same lost, haunted and gaunt look in women and even men throughout his life; it was a very particular look that only those who had been used and hurt carried, the moment he had locked eyes with her in her rooms he had known in an instance… the bloody and torn gown had only confirmed his suspicions along with her rambling of ‘_lost_’ maidenheads, though lost wasn’t the word he would use.

“Well little bird, you’re finally free... we both are.” He had tried to keep his voice a quiet as possible, not wanting to startle his deadly silent companion and as he waited with baited breath for some type of response, he felt the side of her body sag against his own and once again, he felt the sobs that wracked through her and forced himself to listen to her throaty cries as he sat silently; he would be silent for as long as she needed and he figured she would probably need awhile before he opened his mouth again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter One is complete! Welcome one and all to my new Sandor and Sansa story, one that refused to leave my head until I sat down and began to outline it and it somehow became a full fledged story! This chapter is shorter than the future chapters will be, but I figured there wasn't much to write in terms of Sansa and Sandor leaving King's Landing since that's where the story really begins to pick up. Please make sure you're paying attention to the tags since this story will deal with some very heavy topics that might upset the readers; Sansa was raped before the story took place, after leaving Cersei and the other ladies she was accosted and the aftermath is where this story picks up. I will always make sure there are appropriate warnings applied whenever something detailed or extremely sensitive is mentioned. Comments for this story have been set to Author Approval since it is a more delicate story and I want to make sure no one is leaving crude comments, but as always, kudos, comments and bookmarks are so appreciated and much loved here! I love you guys and will see you next chapters<3

**Author's Note:**

> \- be sure to read the tags for any warnings and possible triggers -  
pinterest - https://www.pinterest.com/AinsleighLeigh/nodus-tollens/


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